I am crying real tears.Do you think Santana is thinking of the first time Mrs. Pierce showed her Brittany’s baby photos? Or the first time she was in Brittany’s room looking at the pictures on her dresser (from 2.04)?
Do you think Santana could tell that little girl “I broke up with the best thing that’s ever been mine”? What would the little girl say? Well, she’d ask why, and what could Santana really say in response? Nobody understands; even she doesn’t fully understand, herself, she just knows that somehow it makes sense for her and Brittany to be apart at the moment, because she doesn’t want to ruin them beyond repair, you know? She wants to protect her forever with Brittany, her future, and she can’t do that by wrecking it in the present.
Santana wants Brittany so, so much- but she has to be patient. She has to put Brittany first, for the first time. She has to do the mature thing.
So even though Brittany just saw her for Grease and essentially hinted that they should get back together? Well Santana knows they can’t.
And even though she just saw Brittany for Thanksgiving and sectionals, and probably shared the holiday together with her, it probably just hurt too much to repeat with Christmas.
She feels so lost without Brittany. She doesn’t know how to Christmas without her.
So she went to the only other people that make her feel normal, who she knows are going through similar pain, and who won’t remind her of Brittany; to a place that won’t remind her of Brittany (even though she sees Brittany in every city light, sees her by her side together living there in the future) and tried to forget.
(Santana will never forget.)